advice

The Boyfriend Song: Lyrics Only

Aimez-vous l'accent? - French music cartoon gif by Hannah Sterry
| Hannah Sterry

The Boyfriend Song

Do you mind conversations about zombie ninja pirates?
How about debates about the newest things in science?
Do you like Monty Python? Are you musical at all?
Can you manage to be lewd without losing your class at all?

Because…
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’d like a boyfriend please!
It’s mostly for great company and not those birds and bees,
So I’d like a boyfriend please!
(Y’know, if it’s not too much trouble)

Are you fussy about food?
Are you considerate or rude?
Do you like cats (no, not for dinner)?
Are you taller? Fatter? Thinner?

(Could you possibly put up with my ridiculous ideas?)

Do you think this drawing’s great?
What kinds of people do you hate?
Are you kind and are you stable?
Are your hands above the table?

Because…
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’m obviously too fussy, but I’d like one that’s a tease.
Yep, I’d like a boyfriend please!
(Or maybe I’m closing my mind too much)

I shouldn’t be so picky about gender.
But instincts have a stranglehold on me.
It shouldn’t be my fate, to pro-cre-ate;
There are already too many fish in the sea.

Anyway…
If we’re going to be so ridiculously politically correct about it…
Might as well include everybody…

I’d like a girlfriend please!
I’d like a girlfriend please!
And if you’re unsure, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Leave judgements and criticisms at the door.

You could be hetero- or homo-
It’s no problem; I’m no phobe- Oh.
I just have one more thing to say:

Though, theoretically, I’ve no preference,
Logic didn’t get the reference.

So… I’d still probably like a boyfriend please.
(Apply now with your CVs.)

Lyrics © Hannah Sterry 2012
Music to follow…

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I feel I should point out that I have a lovely boyfriend (and a ridiculous sense of humour), so please don’t take this seriously – it’s just a bit of fun! This is a poem/song I’d forgotten about and unearthed as I was trying to clear up the mess of files on my computer with names like “idea”, “another thing” and “messing about”.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this post anyway! Let me know what you think in the comments!

Advertising and Promoting Music on a Budget (Free)

| Hannah Sterry

Here are a few useful sites I’ve found whilst researching how to start advertising and and selling my music without having to pay anything. Hope it helps!

  • Bandcamp is probably the best website regarding ease and freedom of music sale. You just upload the tracks and album art and name your price. They take 15% commission, and PayPal take a little too, but if you read through their FAQs there’s plenty of information and advice to help you manage your music independently. UPDATE: Bandcamp now have a facebook app, so it’s possible to sell music via facebook pages. Here’s the info: http://bandcamp.com/facebook_app.
  • RouteNote are advertising that they can get your tunes on itunes, and you don’t have to pay anything up front as they take a percentage of the money from sales. If salesincrease you can pay a flat rate each month and keep all of the money from your sales.
  • RootMusic have quite a neat module for playing music on facebook pages. If you want to customise it, you have to pay,but the free version looks quite tidy and does the job. You can also use a facebook app by ReverbNation, but in my opinion it didn’t look so tidy.
  • Get British Businesses Online will give you 2 years worth of free domain name. The only catch that I can see (other than the fact that you have to be based in Britain) is that you have to use google sites to build a website.

If you’ve found any other useful sites like this, please don’t hesitate to comment!

Tips for Learning an Instrument

| Hannah Sterry
Whenever music comes up in conversation, there seems to be an instant divide between people who do and don’t class themselves as musicians. Most of the time the people who don’t class themselves as musicians mumble something along the lines of “I wish I could play an instrument”.
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