The Boyfriend Song
Do you mind conversations about zombie ninja pirates?
How about debates about the newest things in science?
Do you like Monty Python? Are you musical at all?
Can you manage to be lewd without losing your class at all?
Becauseā¦
Iād like a boyfriend please!
Iād like a boyfriend please!
Itās mostly for great company and not those birds and bees,
So Iād like a boyfriend please!
(Yāknow, if itās not too much trouble)
Are you fussy about food?
Are you considerate or rude?
Do you like cats (no, not for dinner)?
Are you taller? Fatter? Thinner?
(Could you possibly put up with my ridiculous ideas?)
Do you think this drawingās great?
What kinds of people do you hate?
Are you kind and are you stable?
Are your hands above the table?
Becauseā¦
Iād like a boyfriend please!
Iād like a boyfriend please!
Iām obviously too fussy, but Iād like one thatās a tease.
Yep, Iād like a boyfriend please!
(Or maybe Iām closing my mind too much)
I shouldnāt be so picky about gender.
But instincts have a stranglehold on me.
It shouldnāt be my fate, to pro-cre-ate;
There are already too many fish in the sea.
Anywayā¦
If weāre going to be so ridiculously politically correct about itā¦
Might as well include everybodyā¦
Iād like a girlfriend please!
Iād like a girlfriend please!
And if youāre unsure, it doesnāt matter anymore.
Leave judgements and criticisms at the door.
You could be hetero- or homo-
Itās no problem; Iām no phobe- Oh.
I just have one more thing to say:
Though, theoretically, Iāve no preference,
Logic didnāt get the reference.
So⦠Iād still probably like a boyfriend please.
(Apply now with your CVs.)
Lyrics © Hannah Sterry 2012
Music to follow…
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
I feel I should point out that I have a lovely boyfriend (and a ridiculous sense of humour), so please donāt take this seriously ā itās just a bit of fun! This is a poem/song Iād forgotten about and unearthed as I was trying to clear up the mess of files on my computer with names like āideaā, āanother thingā and āmessing aboutā.
Hope youāve enjoyed this post anyway! Let me know what you think in the comments!
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