Tips for Learning an Instrument

Whenever music comes up in conversation, there seems to be an instant divide between people who do and don’t class themselves as musicians. Most of the time the people who don’t class themselves as musicians mumble something along the lines of “I wish I could play an instrument”.
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The Non-Phonetic Alphabet

I was wondering if I could create a useless alternative to the Nato Phonetic Alphabet, so I decided to give it a go (with a little help from the internet, friends and a pencil that claims to be 100% wool and has the instructions “DRY CLEAN ONLY” printed on it).

Anyway, here is the Non-Phonetic Alphabet:

A – Aether, Aisle, Auxiliary
B – Bdellium
C – Czar, Ctenophore
D – Djembe
E – Euro, Eye, Eight, Eiderdown, Euthanasia
F – ???
G – Gnat
H – Honour
I –   ???
J –  Jalapeño
K –  Knee, Knight
L –  Llanelli
M – Mnemonic
N – Nguyen
O – Oestrogen, One, Oujia
P – Pneumatic, Pterodactly, Phlegm, Phonetic
Q – Quiche
R – Rzeznik
S – Sgraffitto
T – Tsunami
U – Uighur, urushiol
V – ???
W – Write, Wrap, Wrestle
X – Xylophone
Y – Yvonne, Yreka, Yttrium
Z – Zaragoza

Use it to annoy people in call centres at your own risk.

My name is Hannah, spelt H for honour, A for aisle, N for Nguyen…
The name is also a palindrome so you should be able to spell the rest by yourself.

If you’ve got better ones, just comment and I’ll add them to the list.

I’ll be really impressed if you find any good ones for F, I, L, N, R, S, U, V, Y and Z!

Dating in the Zombie Apocalypse