The Boyfriend Song: Lyrics Only

Aimez-vous l'accent? - French music cartoon gif by Hannah Sterry

The Boyfriend Song

Do you mind conversations about zombie ninja pirates?
How about debates about the newest things in science?
Do you like Monty Python? Are you musical at all?
Can you manage to be lewd without losing your class at all?

Because…
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’d like a boyfriend please!
It’s mostly for great company and not those birds and bees,
So I’d like a boyfriend please!
(Y’know, if it’s not too much trouble)

Are you fussy about food?
Are you considerate or rude?
Do you like cats (no, not for dinner)?
Are you taller? Fatter? Thinner?

(Could you possibly put up with my ridiculous ideas?)

Do you think this drawing’s great?
What kinds of people do you hate?
Are you kind and are you stable?
Are your hands above the table?

Because…
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’m obviously too fussy, but I’d like one that’s a tease.
Yep, I’d like a boyfriend please!
(Or maybe I’m closing my mind too much)

I shouldn’t be so picky about gender.
But instincts have a stranglehold on me.
It shouldn’t be my fate, to pro-cre-ate;
There are already too many fish in the sea.

Anyway…
If we’re going to be so ridiculously politically correct about it…
Might as well include everybody…

I’d like a girlfriend please!
I’d like a girlfriend please!
And if you’re unsure, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Leave judgements and criticisms at the door.

You could be hetero- or homo-
It’s no problem; I’m no phobe- Oh.
I just have one more thing to say:

Though, theoretically, I’ve no preference,
Logic didn’t get the reference.

So… I’d still probably like a boyfriend please.
(Apply now with your CVs.)

Lyrics © Hannah Sterry 2012
Music to follow…

———————————————————

I feel I should point out that I have a lovely boyfriend (and a ridiculous sense of humour), so please don’t take this seriously – it’s just a bit of fun! This is a poem/song I’d forgotten about and unearthed as I was trying to clear up the mess of files on my computer with names like “idea”, “another thing” and “messing about”.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this post anyway! Let me know what you think in the comments!

Shaving a Cactus

Vanity: Cartoon cactus shaving with razor.

Vanity: Cartoon cactus shaving with razor.

Vanity is very silly.

I don’t really understand why there’s so much pressure for women to shave off various areas of body hair. You only have to leave it for a few days and the the hair is back… your legs feeling like they’re covered in hundreds of tiny cactus spikes. Might as well save the money on razors and use the time to draw silly cartoons of cacti instead!

People are funny animals.

If you don’t like tv soaps…

Hilarious bright kid shares her opinions on the British tv soap, Eastenders:

 

Thought I should share this with you, as it made me giggle.

Ada Lovelace and the School Syllabus


Ada Lovelace
Ada Lovelace

Why is Ada Lovelace not on the school syllabus? Learning about interesting scientists and inventors in history lessons would be much more fun than killing the enthusiasm of students by studying the same two wars for years and years.

Other things that should be on the school syllabus:

  • Cooking realistic meals for one.
  • Managing tax, bills and finances.
  • General DIY
  • Basic Car/Bike Repair

These subjects shouldn’t be graded in the normal way, because the focus should be on encouragement of hard work, and not on a pointless letter on a piece of paper.

I’ll probably edit this and add some more in the future.