Music, Life and Comedy Writing

Yesterday I rediscovered this (it’s a very silly poem that I’m currently calling “The Boyfriend Song” although that might change at a later date). There are a lot of ideas floating around in my head to do with the tune and how any artwork should look so now it’s just a process of elimination to get to something I’m happy with and run with it.

As yesterday was also Wednesday, it was Ben Carr’s blues night at the Royal Oak again and I remembered the camera this time! I only got a few photos, because I was playing flute some of the time too, but was quite pleased with this one:

Blues night at the Royal Oak
One of Ben Carr's Blues Nights at the Royal Oak

I mentioned it at the top of the page, but for those of you who, like me, have a horrible internet connection and don’t want to open a new tab because it will take about 40 years to load… here’s “The Boyfriend Song”.

———————————————————————-

The Boyfriend Song

Do you mind conversations about zombie ninja pirates?
How about debates about the newest things in science?
Do you like Monty Python? Are you musical at all?
Can you manage to be lewd without losing your class at all?

Because…
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’d like a boyfriend please!
It’s mostly for great company and not those birds and bees,
So I’d like a boyfriend please!
(Y’know, if it’s not too much trouble)

Are you fussy about food?
Are you considerate or rude?
Do you like cats (no, not for dinner)?
Are you taller? Fatter? Thinner?

(Could you possibly put up with my ridiculous ideas?)

Do you think this drawing’s great?
What kinds of people do you hate?
Are you kind and are you stable?
Are your hands above the table?

Because…
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’d like a boyfriend please!
I’m obviously too fussy, but I’d like one that’s a tease.
Yep, I’d like a boyfriend please!
(Or maybe I’m closing my mind too much)

I shouldn’t be so picky about gender.
But instincts have a stranglehold on me.
It shouldn’t be my fate, to pro-cre-ate;
There are already too many fish in the sea.

Anyway…
If we’re going to be so ridiculously politically correct about it…
Might as well include everybody…

I’d like a girlfriend please!
I’d like a girlfriend please!
And if you’re unsure, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Leave judgements and criticisms at the door.

You could be hetero- or homo-
It’s no problem; I’m no phobe- Oh.
I just have one more thing to say:

Though, theoretically, I’ve no preference,
Logic didn’t get the reference.

So… I’d still probably like a boyfriend please.
(Apply now with your CVs.)

———————————————————

I feel I should point out that I have a lovely boyfriend (and a ridiculous sense of humour), so please don’t take this seriously – it’s just a bit of fun! It’s something I’d forgotten about and unearthed as I was trying to clear up the mess of files on my computer with names like “idea”, “another thing” and “messing about”.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this post anyway! Let me know what you think in the comments!

H xxx

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