Thanks to Liz and Katy for the #BespokeBallads!

Published on 20 May 2013 Request your own Barclaycard bespoke ballad on Twitter with #bespokeballads. Watch Hannah's bespoke ballad written and recorded for her by Katy and Liz. Barclaycard bespoke offers Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bespokeoffers Katy's Twitter: https://twitter.com/katyschutte Liz's Twitter: https://twitter.com/lizpeterscomedy Want a tuneful bespoke ballad just for you? Tweet us on @bespokeoffers or use the hash tag #bespokeballads.

This arrived in my inbox today! Liz and Katy chose to write one of their #bespokeballads about me! 😀

https://twitter.com/bespokeoffers/status/336583259070803968

I jokingly asked for one of the #bespokeballads a few days ago, but didn’t expect anything, so I was delighted (and amused) today when I found they’d written a song for me. They made me giggle!

LYRICS

Hold the front page, stop press!

Hannah’s got a story in the South West.

Sterry’s really growing Plymouth Art more.

It’s a smelly faux pas mis-typing Dartmoor!

 

You may think she’s only a reportist,

Look a little closer she’s a sweet jazz flautist.

We didn’t bring a flute, didn’t think we oughta,

But the flute’s really only a sideways recorder.

 

[Recorder Solo]

 

Quick, Stop The Press!

There’s a budding flower!

Another huge story on #devonhour!

Pawprints on the bed; inconsiderate cat!

While Sterry’s getting merry on the #spiritchat!

 

Harp Solo!

 

If you’re all wiped out from making animation,

It doesn’t even need to be an occasion,

If four of you want some razzmatazz,

There’s a five course meal with cocktails and jazz!

 

Katy and Liz are on twitter too, so they’d probably love a few follows and comments. Let them know what you think!

Katy’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/katyschutte
Liz’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/lizpeterscomedy

Thanks for reading and hope you’re as amused as I am! 😀

The Non-Phonetic Alphabet

I was wondering if I could create a useless alternative to the Nato Phonetic Alphabet, so I decided to give it a go (with a little help from the internet, friends and a pencil that claims to be 100% wool and has the instructions “DRY CLEAN ONLY” printed on it).

Anyway, here is the Non-Phonetic Alphabet:

A – Aether, Aisle, Auxiliary
B – Bdellium
C – Czar, Ctenophore
D – Djembe
E – Euro, Eye, Eight, Eiderdown, Euthanasia
F – ???
G – Gnat
H – Honour
I –   ???
J –  Jalapeño
K –  Knee, Knight
L –  Llanelli
M – Mnemonic
N – Nguyen
O – Oestrogen, One, Oujia
P – Pneumatic, Pterodactly, Phlegm, Phonetic
Q – Quiche
R – Rzeznik
S – Sgraffitto
T – Tsunami
U – Uighur, urushiol
V – ???
W – Write, Wrap, Wrestle
X – Xylophone
Y – Yvonne, Yreka, Yttrium
Z – Zaragoza

Use it to annoy people in call centres at your own risk.

My name is Hannah, spelt H for honour, A for aisle, N for Nguyen…
The name is also a palindrome so you should be able to spell the rest by yourself.

If you’ve got better ones, just comment and I’ll add them to the list.

I’ll be really impressed if you find any good ones for F, I, L, N, R, S, U, V, Y and Z!