When I’m Killin’ Zombies

*To the tune of “When I’m Cleanin’ Windows” by George Formby.

Now I go killin’ zombies to keep m’self alive

Wandering round the suburbs with me handy MP5

Now it’s a job that don’t suit me

But zombie killer you would be

If you could see the hell I see

When I’m killin’ zombies

Armageddon’s just a blast!

If only virus worked that fast

The things I do to save me arse

When I’m killin’ zombies

In my profession I’ll work hard

But I’ll never stop

I’ll kill these blasted zombies

Until I’ve had me lot

The zombie bride, she looks divine

The groom escaped her just in time

A wedding’s just a battle line

When I’m killin’ zombies

The living dead just want your brains

Don’t care for your cash or chains

The streets run red until it rains

When I’m killin’ zombies

The virus claimed this camera guy

Who ate the brains of Stephen Fry

Who knew the dead could quote QI?

When I’m killin’ zombies

In my profession I’ll work hard

But I’ll never stop

I’ll kill these blasted zombies

Until I’ve had me lot

Undead walking side by side

Arms outstretched and eyes all wide

There’s no emotion left inside

When I’m killin’ zombies

—— Instrumental ——

This living nightmare ain’t no fun

I’d never leave without my gun

Won’t stop until the battle’s won

When I’m killin’ zombies

My comrade clutches his behind

Got bitten on his… never mind

Natural selection isn’t kind

When I’m killin’ zombies

In my profession I’ll work hard

But I’ll never stop

I’ll kill these blasted zombies

Until I’ve had me lot

A zombie staggers down the street

One head shot and that guy’s dead meat

I’ll shoot ‘em back until I’m beat

When I’m killin’ zombies

When I’m killin’ zombies

——————————

Lyrics to “When I’m Killin’ Zombies” ©Hannah Sterry 2013. All rights reserved.

Some people write love songs. I write about the zombie apocalypse. Fair’s fair.